Safety & Ethics in Cyberspace

Tips for Parents

Did you know?

Taking on the Internet Porn Industry, available from Third Way is a document that presents information of interest to all parents and teachers. The report findings include:

• The largest group of consumers of online pornography is kids ages 12-17.
• The average age at which children are first exposed to porn online is 11 years old.
• Online pornography is proliferating online at an alarming rate – from 14 million web pages in 1998 to over 400 million today. One out of every 8 Internet websites is pornographic.
• Despite the availability of foolproof age verification systems, children have easy access to pornography online.
• 97% of Internet pornography sites now run basically on an honor system – if a child simply asserts that they are over 18, they get access to the sites.
• Elements of the online pornography industry are directly targeting children, using meta-tagging with words like “Santa Claus,” “Disneyland” and “Teletubbies” to draw kids to their websites after searching on those terms.

According to surveys taken in 2003 - 2005 or 55,000 children in grades 5 - 8 conducted by
I-SAFE AMERICA, Inc.

• 53% like being alone when “surfing” the Internet.
• 12% have unsupervised access to the Internet at school.
• 10% chat, e-mail or Instant Message (IM) while at school.
• 39% have given out personal information (name, e-mail address, age, gender) online (when entering a contest, playing online games or signing up for websites).
• 31% have chatted or used IM with someone on the Internet that they have not met “face to face”.
• 12% have met a new person from the Internet “face to face.”
• 13% are willing to meet “face to face” with someone new they meet on the Internet.
• 8% say that, while on the Internet, someone has asked them to keep their friendship a secret.
• 53% have seen something on the Internet that shouldn’t be on the Internet.
• 64% know of or have heard about other students who have done something on the Internet that shouldn’t be done.

The Internet is a great place for your children to have fun and keep in touch with family and friends. Because of the huge amount of information available online, the potential for educational benefit to your family from legitimate online sources is nearly unlimited.

On the other hand, just as you protect your children from dangers in the "real" world, you must be aware of the possible dangers that tempt naive and trusting children, especially teenagers, into dangerous situations. Becoming educated about technology and striving to open and maintain lines of communication with your children is just as critical as teaching young children to look before they cross the street and older ones to become responsible drivers. Your job to educate and protect your children supercedes any feelings they may have regarding their rights to privacy!

• What are the possible dangers?
• How can I help my child avoid risky situations and make sensible decisions?
• What warning signs should I watch for?
• What should I do if I know or think my child is being exposed to potentially risky situations?

What are the possible dangers?

• Accessing inappropriate web sites. A few examples: pornography; extremist activities; hate groups; instructions for committing violent acts; drug manufacturing.
• Contact with sexual predators: most common via chat rooms, e-mail or instant messaging. These predators take advantage of a child's insecurities to befriend them.
• Bullying, harassment, and character defamation in the public arena of the Internet, by e-mail and instant messaging, can be cruel, vicious, degrading and very damaging to children and teens.
• Scams, fraud and identity theft: Internet users may unwittingly fall victim to criminal scams that begin by asking for passwords, credit card information, social security numbers and other personal information in a way that appears to be legitimate.
• Sales: While there are many ethical e-commerce sites and sellers doing business on the Internet, there are numerous fraudulent operators misrepresenting merchandise or using an e-commerce site to collect credit card information. As with television, the Internet is being use for aggressive marketing campaigns aimed at young consumers. Buyers must be very careful purchasing from Internet auction sites. If it's too good to be true, it's probably a scam.
• Computer issues: Viruses, worms, spyware, adware and some peer to peer software may cause your computer or software to malfunction or compromise your security and privacy. Install and use an antivirus program and consider installing a firewall. You should also install and regularly run software that searches your computer for spyware and adware. Download and install only reputable software programs.

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How can I help my child avoid risky situations and make sensible decisions?

• Without overreacting, establish clear and reasonable rules for computer use in your home and outside your home. Limit the time and the hours of the day your child can participate in online activities. Make sure you create, explain and implement consequences for breaking the rules.
• Place your computer in an open area of your home where you can easily supervise your child's computer activities.
• Consider choosing an online service that offers parental controls. Check with your current provider to find out what services they offer. Purchase monitoring and filtering software that allows you some control over computer use.
• Internet accounts and profiles should be in your name and you should control passwords and screen names. Help your child choose a screen name that is nondescript. Do not allow children to have personal profiles because these can often be easily accessed by predators.
• Know who your children exchange e-mail with. If they have a "buddy list", check it often for changes.
• Know your child's friends and talk to their parents about computer use in their homes. Be aware of other computers outside of your home that your child may be using.
• Keep the lines of communication open with your child. Be supportive of the educational and fun uses of technology and spend time exploring the Internet with your child. Work to establish an atmosphere of trust within your family, encouraging your children to tell you about their online activities.
  Help your children understand...
  • what personal information is and why it should not be given.
  • what is being posted on a web site or discussed online can affect a person's privacy and reputation and often cannot be deleted or removed.
  • the importance of not responding to unsolicited, offensive or unpleasant e-mail or chat.
  • while they may feel "alone" online, they are not. People can find out who they are and where they are by taking advantage of the natural tendencies of children and teens to be trusting and open.
  • what they read or see online is not all factual or reliable. Encourage a cautious approach to online "information". We have an online list of Library Resources for Research and your school librarian can direct you and your student to other reliable sources.
• Recognize that chat rooms can be dangerous. Do not allow your child to visit chat rooms or, at the very least, restrict them to age and subject appropriate chat rooms only and monitor their activity. Chat services that provide monitors are generally safer than unmonitored chat rooms, but parental supervision is essential in any case.
• Tell your children...
  • to tell you immediately if they are threatened, scared or made uncomfortable by someone or something online. (Be sure you respond in a helpful and calm manner.)
  • never give out their own or their friends' names, addresses, phone numbers, parents' names, school names, or other personal information.
  • never agree to personally meet someone they met online.
  • never send photographs online without your permission.
  • never fill out forms or questionnaires online without your permission.
  • not to enter areas that charge for services without your permission.

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What warning signs should I watch for?

• Your child spends a great deal of time on the Internet or is online late at night.
• Your child changes the computer screen when you enter the room.
• Your child becomes uneasy or defensive when you are close to their online activity or discussing online behavior. (If you see your child type POS this is a red flag. It means "parent over shoulder".)
• There are unusual charges on credit card statements or phone bills. Be especially alert to charges with seemingly benign identification. Pornographers and con artists are careful not to attract attention by using descriptive names.
• Your child has a sudden influx of cash or gifts.
• You notice changes in your child's behavior or habits (secretiveness, inappropriate knowledge, changes in interests, sleeping problems, etc.)

What should I do if I know or think my child is being exposed to potentially risky situations?

• Communicate with your child and be involved. Be non-judgmental as you encourage your child to answer your questions and discuss your concerns.
• If your child is involved in online bullying or harassment, either as a perpetrator, victim or bystander, engage in a discussion of ethics, kindness and respect. Talk about the legal realities of criminal arrest or civil litigation in extreme cases of cyberbullying. Your child's role in the activity will determine how you respond. Visit our Links & Resources page for links to excellent, detailed articles.
• If threatening or pornographic material is received by your child, save it. If you can identify the company, report the incident to the sender's Internet service provider. Contact your local law enforcement agency.
• Report any content or activity that you suspect may be illegal to local law enforcement agencies.

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